My mother got basically tossed out from most of her family by going on to college. What made it worse is that she bought into the idea that "education" in and of itself really did make you better. Morally, somehow. So I got to witness a good lifetime of circular nonsesne with my mom and my mom's family (with the exceptio of her parents who had encouraged her to go on) sniping at each other then talking to me about how sad that the life the other had "chosen" had "ruined" them.

On the other hand my dad's family has been all over the social map economicallt and somehow has always caried with it this odd "rank" feeling. They could be farming pigs in the central valley and still make you feel you were going in to an audience with the "Laird" when you went in for coffee or tea; and yet the richest of their matrons that I ever met wouldn't hesitate to grab a hatchet and go out to get the firewood if any of the young men in the group was less then quick about organizing himself. And she'd probably bring half the forest back

The thing is, no one in my dad's family that I met was likely to look down on people for not making money. Too many of them had been there themselves. Fortune was fickle. family history was too known to them for them to ever forget that. But my mom's family was convinced that my dad's family looked down on them. Not my dad; mom's folks loved him. But his family, that was something else. To this day, my mom will still brag about my dad's family, but she only recently has started to say anything worth talking about regarding her own. She still buys the American idea that if you are poor, it's all your own fault. She doesn't have the perspective that s/() happens and you just have to ride it out. But there are a lot of people out there are who really think that if they are riich, it's all because they have been so wonderful. They don't get how much of it is just luck. The trick is, can they ride it out when things get bad?

Kathy, your son will be back. If or no other reason, than because you are there. Kids his age talk big. My son does too. We had to really struggle for about fifteen years, and only recently has the weight lifted a little. You have given him more than the money. You gave him the strength to ride the bad times out, and a heritage to be proud of. for all his talk, He won't leave that. I'm willing to bet on it.! HUGGGS