yes, my friend, those feelings are undercurrents because of the abuse that you went through. Remember that those are feelings that your perp put into your head...you have nothing to be ashamed about. You could not act on anything in your past because you were young and had no power.

Shame is something you are, embarrassment is something that happened to you that you may feel because you were not expected to feel those feelings.

Hoping that you will call your T and discuss this with him/her. It will help if you can openly talk about the shame that keeps you bound. You had no power, remember that. And you have nothing now to be ashamed about. You could not have been strong and resisted. You were a child. He/she was the adult and should have known better.

Am sending you gentle hugs, good thoughts, and prayers.

Jewels