(((((((Madisgram))))))), I feel deep empathy for you in those family dynamics. They are very similar to my family experience. I also was the one who commented on the dysfunction among my parents and brother, a lifelong drug addict, who always scapegoated me (he was adopted and I was born 5 years later). They would form coalitions against me because I would not silently accept their meanness, manipulation and lack of boundaries. I had to stop contact with my mother in the last 2 years of her life because of her toxic effect on me. My brother met a rich woman 27 years ago, and never worked again, while I live in poverty. So be it.

I really feel for the pain you're in. I wish there was an easy solution. I hope that you can protect yourself and insulate yourself from your family in any way you can. There's no controlling your son's thinking, only hope that he eventually matures more and becomes less pliable in their hands.