I haven't seen my T in a whole month. One day, she was out sick and other days she was booked up. I will see her next week. But, my availability will no longer match hers unless I ask work for extra time off to go see her. I hate to do that because a co-worker teasingly asked if I had a hot date. I said no and that I had an appointment. If I try to do that on a regular basis, I worry that my co-workers may really wonder what I am doing on a weekly basis. But, I have developed a slight dependence on her sootheing my worrries some. Grrrr. So I don't know if I might have to change T or something else. I like this T and hate to go through the crap of talking to the EAP case manager and explaining all this. I worry my T will think I am an dump because she warned me of possible scheduling problems and I knew that my schedule would change in the new year. But, I just wanted to get rid of some of my distress. I don't think about the future when I am highly worried in the present. I left a message with a warning about this so that she knows when we talk next week. Why can't I do a better job of making T choices? Then again, how can I make good decisions when I was having trouble sleeping, worry headaches, constant worrying throughout work, etc? What an excuse? Why do I have the capacity to worry my self goofy? Why can't I stop worrying? I mean I can literally worry my way into a headache and make everyone think that I am sad all the time. /I think I will stop ranting now.