It is hard. SO hard not to want to give up, when you're feeling so incredibly low. I don't recall the last time I had a "good" day. When I emailed my T the other day, I told him that I am still taking steps forward, even though all I want to do is crawl into bed and give up entirely.

Yet, I know I can't give up. I have a wonderful 9 year old daughter who deserves for me to keep fighting. Of course, I wish I felt deserved enough...but thankfully, I have her, to keep fighting for, because she's worth it. Someday maybe I'll feel that I'm worth it.

I have also found that forcing myself to get out of the house and DO something, especially with others, helps me from falling deeper into that dark hole. Even if it's the last thing in the world that I want to do.