Quote:
Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions
It is hard. SO hard not to want to give up, when you're feeling so incredibly low. I don't recall the last time I had a "good" day. When I emailed my T the other day, I told him that I am still taking steps forward, even though all I want to do is crawl into bed and give up entirely.
Yet, I know I can't give up. I have a wonderful 9 year old daughter who deserves for me to keep fighting. Of course, I wish I felt deserved enough...but thankfully, I have her, to keep fighting for, because she's worth it. Someday maybe I'll feel that I'm worth it.
I have also found that forcing myself to get out of the house and DO something, especially with others, helps me from falling deeper into that dark hole. Even if it's the last thing in the world that I want to do.
|
You have the best reason in the world to keep fighting...your daughter! She is so lucky to have you and you are lucky to have her! I'll probably never have a family of my own. I wish I had the opportunity, but I don't think that at this point it will ever happen. Aside with everything else I'm dealing with...this is also very hard to come to terms with. I don't think that I'll ever know what this is like.