Ok, so ive been with this girl for about six months now...
and its the same as every other relationship,, except,, its lasted... so i think its worth trying to keep.......

i cannot seem to trust her on anything..
but half the time, i dont even know what i think she did....

ive cheated on her once,,, when we first started dating,, i started going out with this other girl... but after a little while,,, told the other girl,, i couldnt do that anymore.....

but even before that, i didnt trust her...

a few thingsd have happened tht just scream something was up,,, a few nights.... she says shes not good at showing affection, but she says alot, then contradicts it later....
but she, makes me feel like im the only one in this relationship sometimes.....

idk, why i cant trust her.... why i think.... somethings wrong...
i keep trying to tell myself its all in my head... cuz i always do the same thing, always the same fights,, same fears... with everyone...
nd ive lost good ppl over it before......

sometimes i culd swear.. she does care,,
nd all the stupid things i think she might be doing, or what she might be up too, whatever game i think shes playing...

i feel so wrong for thinking it... sometimes i think im wrong.
i mean, no..... i know im wrong,,, i rele dont think shes like the rest...
but,, then why do i think she is most of the time?????

do i just have a guilty concscience?
am i just to overparanoid?
is it a control issue thing?
idk whats wrong... but whyever i think this stuff, ruins everyone of my relationships..... i push everyone away,,

im constantly accusing, of lying, cheating, or something...
i halfway expect it too happen..... (and im rele sorry if i made no sense.... im rele not good at describing things...)

i rele want this to work, its gotta be worth fighting for...
and if it is me thats doing it... i need to find help before i wreck another good thing. but i still feel somehow,, tht it may not be me this time...