My Support Forums - View Single Post - An excerpt from the book I'm writing, about secrets...

mixedup_emotions · Mar 06, 2011, 09:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by treehouse

THIS is something I am really struggling with right now. Thank you for putting words around it for me.

I've been dissociating a lot, and aware of it, and I HATE it so much, because it's a reminder of what I had to do to survive. And that reminds me of the stories, and the fact that T knows them and....aaaaaack. Spiral city. It's just so freaking REAL.

Sometimes I think the "real" is good - it's solid, there is a beginning and and end to it, it's not this thing floating around in my head with no borders around it. Sometimes, I'm not so sure.

Thanks for sharing, MUE

Aww, Tree.....BIG HUGS to you. I'm sorry it's so REAL right now for you. But realize that even though it's REAL it's not NOW. There's way more good in your NOW than then....

My REAL is not yet there....it's still that thing that's floating in the distance....and I try to keep my distance from it, because the idea of it feeling real is too overwhelming....