Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunna
I've got hooked on the idea of soul-contracts, more than a soul-mates in a traditional sense. In the soul-contract view any significant person you meet is your soul mate. A sad very drunken homeless guy who laid down in a middle of my biking trail, to, in his words, "give up" was a kind of brief soul-mate for me recently. Our souls did touch for a brief moment. For me it was a lesson in compassion.
With some souls we have a long term contracts. They help us grow through many years, and lessons, either by what we call "positive" or "negative" ways. There is a special feeling around these people, more than the others. Of course, this belief, as is nature of all beliefs, is unprovable, I just like it. I have "sensed" a soul-contract presence at all turning points of my life. A special person who came and helped me around the corner I was not going to make it around by myself. It may be just an illusion of perfect 20-20 hindsight. No matter 
I am very wary of what I perceive popular culture dubs a "soul-mate", because I see it as an unrealistis shopping list of desired quantitites which we require and project onto our romantic prospects. I see this shadow version of soul-mate concept in online dating adds "Looking for my soul mate. She is 5'9", 135 lbs, has no baggage, likes to wear her hair long, looks as good in grubby jeans as in evening gown, has perfect mix of seriousness and irreverence, is confident and decisive, soft and feminine.. (etc)" Even if something like a match is found, it leads to unavoidable disappointment. An enduring love does not "just happen", because people are well matched. It's a fruit of work and dedication.
p.s.
My contrived quote of an add is not meant as male bashing. I am told by my male friend who reads them that many women's add are just as bad if not worse. |
Hi Sunna,
Thank you for your thoughtful and thought-provoking reply. I appreciate the value and depth you find in the interactions and relationships you've described, as well as the trend in this thread that soul mates (for lack of a better term here) are possible in a variety of forms and purposes. It's a very heartening, open way of looking at life and the world, and there's no real surprise that many people on the site, regardless of their experiences, hold fast to this belief/perspective.
Though I'm no fan of pop culture, I don't know if superficial proclivities in people, male or female, can completely be ascribed to it. Superficiality is heavily present in pop culture, that almost goes without saying. But I can't see pop culture as the starting point for surface dwelling in how people think or construct their worlds, even in looking for a mate. Folks like the hypothetical guy you offered in your post are either set up to live shallow lives or make conscious choices to keep themselves from more a meaningful awareness of themselves and others. Pop culture merely reinforces these perspectives and lifestyles, or it's a convenient reflection of people quite possibly doomed to never being capable of valuing more than what's material or readily consumed.
I think I get what you're saying though--beware looking for a mate as "product."
Great post, Sunna--thanks for your interesting contribution.
