I'm 'uh-oh' right along with you! I've got those things too......mainly the intimacy vs isolation thing, with some shame and trust issues mixed in there. But certainly, I see how not having at ALL that emotional nurturing and security I needed so desperately as a teenager has left me feeling stuck in some ways at 16 - and I have told my T that in a sense I feel 16 sometimes in my relationship with her! The game of reaching out and getting close but then withdrawing in fear....wanting emotional intimacy but not feeling secure enough in myself, in my own self-identity to handle it and being afraid of it, so retreating into isolation, the 'I am a rock, I am an island' thing! The needs of PG at 16 were not met.....and the longing and the pain and the need of that 16 yr old to be held, to be safe and comforted and secure emotionally are still unresolved within me....that is why I have such a strong feeling that I want her to simply hold me in her arms, so that I feel loved in a way I simply can't believe without the tangible tingling of the body-memory that loving touch leaves with me.
cats, really, this may feel overwhelming to you, but it's good to know what your needs are, because now you can work on meeting them. You can work on growing, changing, healing, and it is ALL very possible, very doable!