I feel for you, Distressed2010. Your environment sounds horrifically stressful. I remember one therapist I talked to said that some parents are so toxic that you are better off taking a teaspoon of arsenic each time you have contact with them. Sounds like your mom is one of those toxic parents.

I agree with hanners -- get out if at all possible. I hope it is possible, because your distress is coming through loud and clear. You deserve better.

Good luck! Wish I could "wave a wand" for you and make things automatically better, but I'm sending you some hugs.