OMG Poetgirl! What you just wrote strikes a note with me except that you have words for it, and I don't! I mean I literally cannot allow words to spill out of my mouth because I don't know what the words are. I recognize the feeling, but just now (because of what you wrote) felt familiar with the words. Is that possible? Could the difference between your ability to verbalize and my inability to verbalize be the ages at which the need came to be? (Oh PLEASE let what I just wrote make sense to someone!)