have you ever talked to a doctor about this? they have things like fertility experts and councellors and there's been a lot of research done in this area, so you should be able to get some feedback from any one of those... I hope that one day you can conceive children of your own, but you said you can't adopt... I don't know enough about that, is that really true w/ the mental ilness? even if your b/f is okay? mmmh... what about foster parents? you have SO MUCH to give, even if you don't have your own children, you can be a great aunt, friend, daughter, sister.... I know it must hurt (((((Lexicon)))) just don't give up on ever being able to share your love and desire to nurture someone. it'll come in one shape or form one day....