Oh yes that strikes a chord...I think CBT is only useful when you're stable. Otherwise, it can make you worse, constantly trying to rationalise chemistry, which is impossible. It took me a long while to understand that. So, I sort of devised my own version for the times when I know I'm not thinking straight, and it has nothing to do with my personality or the way I think in general, and in this version I just observe myself without trying to interfere - meaning to replace patterns etc etc (the usual CBT techniques) - but I just remind myself of my baseline from which I have strayed so that I don't actually end up thinking that I AM these thoughts, which after all are not even really mine in a sense.

The way I make sense out of the 'thoughts hiding behind the memory of other thoughts' is that you are constantly aware of all the possible states you could be in. Like feeling depressed but at the same time being able to sort of visualise yourself elated, knowing how that feels, but for some reason not being able to access it. This is how I feel for most of the time - and it is mind-boggling...

Sorry for rambling on, my advice would be to give CBT a good effort but don't obsess over it. Especially if you have the tendency to be over-controlling! Take your time and observe first of all. Get to know what's actually an unhelpful way of thinking that you apply as a person, and what's chemistry...

Wish you the best