Update:
I went to the consult.Just the consult was 250.00.
File to finish is 200 -500 $ depending.Could be more.
If uncontested...and if we sat and agreed to terms LegalZoom can do a 'no-fault'.

Or....I can go to court house...and represent myself with assist of facilitators offices within courthouse.(self-represent)

In any case,I am advised to gather W-2 forms,they'd freeze bank accts.,inquire as to pension plan,savings,401k,tax returns,split of assets...anything of value over 100 $

I was told that,In the figuring of alimony,they consider:
length of marriage
standard of living
our employability
what the alimony payee spouse contributed to payers education or career
length of marriage

As well....

court can designate a time length of time to spouse to become self-supporting,as well as extend it

A written agreement between us can end alimony

otherwise it ends when payee dies or remarries.

ughhh....I can see how it'd be easy to make me not be an alimony recipient

I'd be safer to just live in the back house which he turned into a shed.I can lock it.It had a bathroom,is insulated....and has a sink...I am panicking.

I think that the less he resents me...the less nasty this can get.

The less money it costs him....the less he'd resent me.

Plus,who am I kidding?I can't be around other people.It kills me.I am a 2 or 3 person sort of soul IRL.

Where will I go?

Ranting I know.~
....watch...my freaking personality will be in a different mode w/in 20 minutes.I dunno my issue.

~W~