thank you for sharing your feelings. it always helps other people like me. I empathize with you because I have had similar feelings. I struggle with depression and my functioning has gotten worse over time. I am taking new medication which has helped. I didn't think my life would change until I took a chance and tried something new. I'm seeing a new psychiatric nurse who took me off of zoloft for effexor xr and added abilify. I am now taking the maximum dose of 2 anitdepressants, wellbutrin and effexor, and the smallest dose of abilify. My energy level has improved greatly. I do more things around the house and better able to manage difficult emotions. I am making a conscious effort to practice mindfulness, and attend DBT group therapy. Although, I do still experience fatigue, every now and then; I wake up early in the morning refreshed. I have 2 big dogs that live with me. I took in a Rottweiler from a coworker (I am underemployed working part time) who didn't have time for him because of working 2 jobs. I am grateful that I have time to walk him and train him. He is 2 years old and still a puppy. I take care of my mother who would have to be in a nursing home if she didn't come to live with me. So, things have worked out for both of us. I wont give advice because Im sure you have heard it all and tried it all. I just want to leave you with a feeling of hope that you will be okay. I am a Christian but I appreciate and practice mindfulness. Having faith in a higher power has gotten me through many difficult times. I was just approved for a mortgage modification which reduced my payment significantly. I had no control of the outcome, and I left it in God's hands to take care of me. I gave them all the information they asked for. Even though I had to send it many times. That left me frustrated and angry. I could have made things worse be asserting my will by using anger in order to manipulate people into doing what I wanted. It didnt work. My therapist helped me through this, and I beleive God put these people in my life for a reason. This moment is perfect. I am who I was meant to be. I live where I was meant to live. I work where I was meant to work. And I have what I was meant to have. Each moment is the perfect moment. Mindfulness is a simple concept, but not easy to do. God bless and keep hope in your horizon.