It's been thought-provoking to read all the posts here. Thanks ((((Nola))))) for getting it rolling.
It's a tough topic for me, not having had great success in relationships. Feeling lovable and deserving of being loved, capable of self-love, self-respect, good communication and fairness in the face of conflict, willingness to be vulnerable and take risks, and possessing a certain optimism - these seem to be necessary ingredients for just getting out of the starting gate. I need to beware of strains of my own rescue fantasies when I think of renewing efforts to meet men. I often long for a man who would love me "so much" that the missing pieces would fall into place, and I'd at last rise to my own potential. This thinking is obviously fraught with hazards. Then, there's the navigating of the others' imperfections, the other side of the narcissistic coin.