Homealone,
you are not alone in any of your issues. It is extremely hard to find qualified therapy for Dissociative disorders. I have DID. I live in MN and have been incredibly lucky in getting qualified people who know what it means to have DID. and this state is known for it's quality health care. I am also an RN.

Getting through the stigma of the disorder itself is hard enough, but it is only recognized in males in about 6% of the cases unless you are talking about PTSD in wartime trauma. You are correct in your feeliongs about people not wanting to hear about sexual abuse in boys although the doors may be opening up as of late with the media coverage of the Catholic Church's problem. (Which I believe are being used as a scapegoat for the multitude of other sexual abusre cases in other churches, in therapists, etc).
I have a close friend who also suffers with us and out of all the DID's I know he is the only male I have met. Interestingly, he is also an RN!
I have some information on some treatment programs that you may be interested in. Unfortunately they are not in TN.
Please email me (see my profile) if you are interested.
One thing though, incredibly enough there are a few therapists who do provide that kind of response any time of the day or night. My psychiatrist who, when he was in private practice, was also my therapist and would let me call him, (have him paged) at any hour.
Those people are one in a million though, especially in a psychiatrist. He still let's me have him paged even though he only works in the hospital now. It really throws the hospital staff in a tizzy though!
Please email me, I don't think I can give out specific program information on this forum. listener