I'm going to the pdoc tomorrow. I'm not sure what to tell her. I feel the same except in a heightened state of everything. I have anxiety that has come out of the woodworks. It comes on me quick sometimes. I start the racing thoughts and I start crying. My home life is rough right now so I'm not sure if that is having its affect or my meds are just wrong. I want a happy pill! Do they make one of those? Just one all wrapped up with happy goodness. I'm on 200mg of zoloft, 300mg of Welbutrin (was up to 450, but that made me freak out a little bit, so I went back down), and xanax as needed for anxiety/panic attacks. The xanax is new. It has definitely helped smooth over some hectic times, but I've been trying to work thru some things on my own. I don't want to become dependent, but just having some makes me feel better.

My son has Tourette's Syndrome w/ ADHD, OCD, ODD, bipolar. He's 10. He is the one of the best parts of my life and one of the worst. He is definitely my trigger. My whole family is my trigger. I think I squashed my feelings so long and ignored that now I just can't take it anymore and things are seeping out. I'm not sure that if anyone I know, REALLY knows me and how I feel and the depression and self injury. Not even my husband- who is real PITA sometimes and other times great. I throw myself into work, but don't have enough to keep me busy all the time, but I would much rather be at work, than at home with my family. So suffocating sometimes. I sigh a lot. I am always trying to get that deep breath. Hold on to it, but I can't. Sorry for rambling.