Thanks lovEternal. I was on effexor for 4 or more years. It lost effectiveness. My Pdoc says I've tried them all, and there's nothing new to try. I'm so glad you've found a winning combination. I also envy your religious faith. I know that it brings comfort to so many. I went to a meditation group last night, accompanied by a new male friend who asked to join me. He's a lovely man, a professional storyteller, nice-looking. He has an MFA in Theatre, the sort of man who'd interest me. Maybe his presence made me anxious. I haven't dated in years. I had to leave my cushion and the meditation room, and go pace the hallway. I've never done that before. I also couldn't shake off the anxiety over a man seeking out my company. I had in my mind leapt ahead to him discovering me to be boring, since I have no career, am not even reading anymore, can't concentrate on games or any mental challenge. It was so painful to feel such unworthiness, just harsh self-judgment. This kind of thinking is some of what gets in my way of trying to meet men. Then, fearing rejection, I appear remote, disinterested. And very few opportunities with new men come along in the first place. Sorry to ramble so, and be so negative. I don't know how to make healthy ideas really take root in my mind, and stick with me. It feels like my brain is made of teflon. Everything slides off or evaporates. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be frustrating or defeat efforts to help. I'm deeply moved and grateful that you all wish to help.