what a great thread!! i have the same reactions a lot of the time-anger and triggers. lots of helpful posts here and i am learning new ways to revert back to things in the past that created this response and how to cope better. it's still a challenge for me. so thanks everyone for your replies. i do know changing this reaction takes time. still working on it but i notice i can avoid the reaction more now and the accompanying behaviors. interesting thought-for me, their anger causes fear in me and then my reaction is to respond to their behavior the same way to protect myself. that's for me an irrational response.