I don't post much here, but I need to vent.
Bipolar depression has consumed much of my life. It seems no matter what tools or meds I use, it comes back again and again.
I hate it and I want to kill it, so to speak. But, it comes back every time.
I get brief breaks from it and then here it is again.

I know I am doing all the right things, which is what makes this so frustrating. It's almost as if this is the way it's going to be forever, and sometimes that's a bitter pill to swallow and it makes me feel desperate.

I get a mix of rage and sadness that is so intense, I usually end up embarrassing myself at some point. It's so hard to hang on sometimes. I'm not going to do anything drastic, so don't worry about that.

I just feel so frustrated by this. It's like swimming upstream all the time.