Thank you all so much for your replies. I will call the GP for an appointment. I do have an appointment at the end of the month with a new pdoc. I had requesting it when the pdoc I saw at the beginning of February changed my dx and wanted me to take lithium instead of the Lamital. He was of the opinion that I was taking too low a dose for it to be effective. The records from the BP sadi I was on 200mgs but I told him while I had a scrpt for the 200's I hadn't hadn't taken the jump from 100mg. He didn't say anything about the size of the jump. I guess I should have asked him if it was okay to jump so far ahead at one time. I think I was still in shock about his dx and the suggestion of lithium.

Its all very infuriating to me right now. Unlike you suga, though I wish I were able be so rational about it. I am not sure I can live with the with these side effects. Not so much the rash as the cognitive effects and this clamminess that seems to be another side effect. I am showing constantly and still within a few minutes I feel all clammy again. I suppose my that all is pretty silly of me.

It is really playing a number on me. My parinoia is being triggered in a major way. I can't get out of my mind what I read on a few of the psych med websites that said "since Lamictal is fairly new to the market there is no research to indicate the long term effects." That haunts me and and scare the bejebbers out me which of course shoots the anxiety up several notches.

I am beginning to feel trapped, the walls are closing it and when I feel this way I tend to run the other way. I am not sure now what I am going to do. I will talk to the GP but my inclination is to wheen off this stuff and walk away. Even though it appears to be working for me it is not enough of a reason for me right now to push aside my fears. I feel now like I am willingly poisoning myself. My mind is warped I know. It took me 15 years to get here and now it is feeding into all my reasons resist for all those years.

I am sorry for putting my meltdown up here but I really am upset about this. I hope you can forgive my self-indulgence. Perhaps the shock will wear off soon and I will come around to thinking more rational but right now the desire to flee from this is way too strong.

Before I sign off and focus on bringing the anxiety back down I wanted to respond the mgran's experience of the rash actually being shingles. Years ago while still in denial, pushing past the symptoms, though not very well, my stress level got so high that shingles developed all over my face. Or at least that was what the GP said it was, but hey who knows. My eye was shut from it creeping up around it. Of course this just shot the anxiety higher because I had read that if it got too close to the eye it could cause blindness. It didn't but it was very painful for a few weeks. There is some similarity to this rash so I guess I will have to see what my proving to be incompetent GP has to say.

geessh... I am really starting to set myself up with amunition to run. Here we go again. I really appreciate you guys sharing with me. It will help me find my centre again so I can get beyond my fears. Seeing you guys get past any worry about side effects and appreciating the beneifts.... maybe that will get me through this parinoia moment. Just seeing this post might wake me up so that I can see that I am not really in control of my thinking right now. I hate it when my fears cause me to defy reality.

Sorry for the long senseless ramble. I am tired now from the strain of correcting my typing. This took me more the an hour to get it right. That of course didn't help with the anxiety. This is ust not going to work for me. Okay... stop already! I will make that appointment now before I chicken out.

Thanks again. Wishing you all well.