I went out again today, feeling triggery...Like things are reminding me of stuff (him).

...I saw the stupid cream cheese spreaders I bought the day we got "engaged"...(and returned), the place we looked at rings, it was just weird.

...I just remembered how happy I was.

I started to get really angry for some reason....I went shopping, out for lunch, no panic at all...This should be good.

But then I was thinking, how am I going to work? I just missed a year of my life....plus we moved ( a long time ago, like 3.5 years, but I had two horrific experiences in the midst of all of that).

Everything feels like a mess, I don't know a soul. I am so uncomfortable. I feel very displaced...misplaced? I don't know.

Ugh.