Nevermind, I feel like crap.

I am improving, but compared to who I was, this is pathetic. My level of functioning is pathetic. My whole life is a joke.

I have no friends here. I can't pick up the phone and say "Hey, let's go out." My boyfriend (not the jerk) is too far away to see. All of my friends are too far away.

I have to rebuild a whole life from scratch feeling like absolute crap. No support system. There are no weekends. No friends, no weekends, and there is no where to go anyway.

I was 7 weeks away from finishing the coursework for a career that would have taken me places. I had a hundred options. I was becoming a professional. I was living where I wanted.

This little leave I am on is not a vacation. It sucks. Before this happened I could not sit still for more than a week.

I feel like my life is complete chaos. Centered around nothing.

I miss my old grocery store. I miss all of the places I used to go...I hate it here.

All because I walked into a stupid store and went on a date. I don't care how many people say it's not my fault. It still resulted in this. In living here.

Do you know how many hours I spent studying to get to where I was?? Too many. I sacrificed a lot. No parties for me in college.

The one time I take a chance with a guy, the one time I let go, and I end up with a sociopath. Lucky me.