Awe... forget being realistic! You have no idea what tomorrow will bring. Lets agree to not base our future on our past. I know the thinking though so we will need to work on that one. I keep waiting for the penny to drop. I am still having challenging days but I am trying to hold on to the calm. I know it is helping me recover more quickly when a symptom acts up.

I can so relate to that 'high alert' and you are so right it is exhausting. I think that may be why I am sleeping better. I think as you say I am beginning to think the 'always on guard' switch is moving into the off position.

I suspect it is the combination you are doing to usher in recovery are working together to help but you have to take a big chunk of the credit because without your persistance and determination no combination of anything can do it alone.

I am with you always questioning if the changes are just a cycle between episodes but ya know what, even if it is we have more skill to manage things when or if we cycle into one extreme of another. We may always battle some degree of symptoms acting up but I think the skills and disciplines we are incorporating into our days will reduce the impact of any cycling up or down. At least that is my claim.

Again staying in the present and not projecting my fears or apprehensions into the futher seems a good strategy to keep us from jinxing ourselves.