(((((((sj))))))) I don't know if your T is right in wanting you to stop seeing certain people or doing certain things... taking pot for ex. I could see why s/he doesn't see it as a good coping mechanism, even though personally I think that's one of the lesser probs.... you have other things to deal with. hun, you CAN get through this. we all have those moments, days, even weeks when cutting isn't enough, eating or not eating isn't enough, and all the other ways we try to deal... but maybe that's a sign saying that those things aren't good enough anymore to help us cope w/ the pain? so it's the coping mechanisms we choose, not nec. that life isn't working... just the things we do to get by dont' work anymore.... I have had that happen too and it still does. but as sleeps said, that's probably a good time to reach out for help and say "I can't do this anymore. This isn't working anymore". It's scarry as hell to know that those thinsg dont' work anymore but you don't have to go through this alone.... it's hard when you're willing to do anything to be okay... anything self-destrcutive that is. do you ever tell your T what dilemma you're left in by what is being expected of you??? someone can't just say "stop doing behaviour X'. you also need to learn new and better ways to help you deal, otherwise you get to where you are right now- in the middle of a crisis and no way to deal b/c that's been taken away or at least the threat of that is there. pls hang in there..... utlimate relief is you finding happiness, not the end hun.