Last session I told T about my fears that he will not really understand what's going on with me and he'll do the "wrong" things so I won't get better.

He took it to mean that I wanted an official diagnosis. As I was getting up to leave, he said he would talk to his supervisor this week, formalize it, and tell me on Friday. I just said "ok."

A couple of T's have hinted before but wouldn't tell me; I wondered for years. Until ONE DAY before that session.

I read something that said "Diagnosing is an art, not a science; T's should think as much about how patients are different from their DX as they do about how patients fit it." It resonated with so much, and I suddenly didn't care.

And now he wants to tell me! How's that for timing? I want to go in first thing and say "Stop! Wait!" But that feels so pushy. And maybe I'm wrong; maybe it would be good. I'm so on edge. Why isn't Friday here already?