I don't think going off the deep end will be bad. It's something, an end or begining. There should be a new earth, a new earth would be better. Maybe all of us that don't belong belong there instead, I don't belong here either.
Pain becomes purity, for me. Hospitals and shrinks don't help, the pain keeps me pure and sane. They degrade it, say it's wrong and keep me from it. It's not so bad.