I've been diagnosed with ADD, but I'm so skeptical of it. I'll tell you why:

Regardless of whether I'm on my medicine or not, I have an extremely busy mind, and it torments me. Sad thoughts and worries take me away easily. I feel like I fear these things, and so perhaps they appear more often than otherwise. I feel like what I thought I would be treating is this constant roller coaster ride of thoughts and emotions and distractions. But the medicine does not help. The only times it does seem to help are the first day after a lapse, which makes me think it's psychosomatic. Today I seemed to be achieve the same result through positive thinking and dedication. So this all makes me think that I have other issues that perhaps just appear similar to ADD in some ways. Though all of this does affect my thoughts. And I do feel like I have issues when trying to listen to people.

So what is your mind like? What is the nature of your thoughts? Do you get distracted more by negative thoughts than others?

I feel like I don't really get distracted by other things (well I do, but I don't know that I do to a degree that warrants an ADD diagnosis, judging by the small amount I've read in books and online); I get distracted by negative thoughts and attitudes. Worries and plans. Things like "don't waste your time reading this, it's worthless; you're supposed to be doing something else," however that "something else" is undefined, so I'm just left with a really depressive neurosis. I go through things like "cleaning up my room isn't important," "is the work I'm doing really of good service to the world?", etc. I frequently feel guilty, anxious, and suffer from self-esteem problems.

Some more elaboration on how I feel, quite often:

When I start reading a web page, something in me says "this is too long! You won't get through this, and you won't understand it all."

I do feel sometimes like I don't totally comprehend things. Like, someone will tell me something and I won't totally catch it or consider its significance. I feel like this is a result of my feeling rushed, and like I have to say something before I forget it. I have a problem putting what someone just said, first, and trying to put my thought on hold. I worry I'll forget it, but should I?

What do you all think?

Thanks
Sean