So... what happens in mid April? Any possible new oppurtnities? Because if you cannot find the sense and motivation in what you are doing... it's gonna ruin you long term. Is there some realistic plan what can you change in the future?

Because sometimes it's changing the way we live that leads to healing. Forcing yourself to be "happy" when you are in bad place is unnatural... and it does not work long term.

Just consider your options.