I'm sorry that you're experiencing this right now, as I can imagine it's very discouraging. You're not a complete idiot, and I think the part you described about staying out of those forums until you felt mentally strong enough is very wise! When you say you take these steps backwards- does that mean that if you go in those forums when you're not as mentally healthy as you thought you become less mentally healthy?

We're here for you. PS: Thanks for all of your wonderful, supportive posts!! Keep us updated!

Andy