Martina,
I suspect that if your husband is interested in "getting it back", he isn't aware of it...
Sex once a year... Doesn't show you affection... Avoiding your advances... Displays a cold or mocking attitude towards you...
I dunno... but what pops into my little pea brain is: "I wonder if this guy has another woman on the side? I'm certainly seeing a lot of red flags in your post!!"
If he doesn't have another woman, it takes a lot more than your desire to make the relationship work. It takes open and clear communication and the active and willing participation of BOTH partners. Do you honestly see that happening in the future? Do you think your husband is capable of making that sort of change... or the desire to do so?
Listen to your intuition. It's speaking the truth to you. You summed up your relationship in the first sentence of your post.
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I often feel like my husband and I are only together for our daughter.
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And:
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I can already see what's going to happen to us. 12 years from now our daughter will go off to college, and we will probably wind up divorced. If not sooner. But without her in our lives, we have no purpose. Our lives revolve around her.
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Martina, are you hearing yourself???
I don't think I would go out of my way to baby him and coax him into showing you the affection and love that you deserve. Those things are naturally a part of a healthy marriage. You shouldn't have to beg for something that he should be sharing willingly, freely and generously.
You have some tough decisions to make.
I wish you happiness and the very best,
Dan