{{{{{{{{{{Jen}}}}}}}}}}} You're not alone in this... and I understand completely. Don't beat yourself up about it. You're not ready. It's okay. The time will come, I promise. You're venturing into the Abuse forum CAN be used, very sparingly, as a "desensitisation" for you... IF that kind of thing works for you. For me, I have to be pretty strong emotionally to be able to read any of the posts there. Haven't been there in a few months now.

Be kind to yourself, Hun. Don't rush and don't feel guilty, either!