This is my second marriage. We are going on to 7th year. Three children. A boy, 1o years old from my first marriage, whom my husband adopted, and 6 year old girl, and my sweet baby boy, 15 months.
I left my first husband for this young, handsome man. He is a good guy, makes good money, great father, and lover, but........
My problem is, that I am scared of loosing him. I am 3 years older, not in a such great shape anymore, no education.
I miss him a lot. He is always in front of TV (ESPN), he works hard. And he is very rude to me! He says "shut up", or makes fun the way I look. When his mother was visiting us, I was pregnanut. She told me: Have an abortion, or my son will leave you". So I did.
I spent a lot. It is my way to cheer me up. I buy things I don't need, then give them away. I am irritable, not happy. I don't know what is wrong with me anymore. I bug him with my stupid problems, and conversations. I say mean things too, stupid things, like "I want a divorce", but I don't. Or may be I am scared to be alone?
I don't know anymore........
He pushes me away, does not trust me, never shares anything, and says I am stupid. When he is angry with me, he does not want me to touch him, and goes to sleep on the couch.
I am lost, tired, sad.