In my deepest depression it feels like I´m sitting in a small wooden fragile punt without any oars in the middle of the ocean. Dark clouds in the sky, all around. The sea in anger and rage. I´m sitting there trembling in the chilly and heavy storm! Trying hard to just hang on to the boat! The safe shore so far away! Seems like a hopeless situation.

Other days the ocean is sooo calm and you can see your own reflection on the surface. But my face looks not sad and not happy... I just AM, sitting there in the boat... Numb, feeling nothing... hearing nothing. The world around seems so distant...is it really there?! Where do I belong?