i have no idea how i feel. i have been like this for 3 days now. other than a few bouts or senseless rage (for around 5 mins each) it has been the same. i dont know what to say of do at this point. whatever this thing is is has in all manners destroyed my life.now thats not saying i want to kill myself cuz i dont. but i just dont know whats left here? like a ghost ship. and i dont think i care, its just why bother to get worked up about anything. i am here but not here, like a bad tv show you dont wanna watch but cant find the remote to change it. so what to do, or why do it? i guess i really want to know what now?

when my ship ran out of fuel i burned the things that made it pretty when i ran out of that i burned the things i loved when i ran out of that i burned willpower to keep me moving. its not a pretty ship but it still moves.