I'm sorry this is so long but it's complicated...please take the time to read and perhaps offer insight.

Backstory: So I dated this guy for 3 years we were in love and had talked about getting married. During the time we were together I was diagnosed with BP and he stuck by me through all the med changes and problems associated with a new diagnosis. I gained 40 lbs due to lithium and he didn't care. He has a daughter who I love and parented; she still calls me Mommy. However, he had a temper. Bigger than that he had anger problems. He would let something bother him and bother him until he exploded.

He also would not stand up to his parents or his ex-wife and I felt like they were running our lives, not us. He was in a significant amount of debt and I felt like I was in a dead-end relationship because we would never be able to buy a house together and he would never be able to propose because he wouldn't be able to afford a ring. We would never be able to get married because I said I wouldn't marry him as long as he was in debt. We went to couples counseling for over a year. Finally I was asked to give a list of things that had to change for me to stay and a time period to see change. He didn't do anything. I broke up with him and paid for him to see our counselor twice more to help deal with fall-out from our break-up. He and I remained friends and I still saw his daughter until I started dating someone else and he lost his temper.

Fast-forward: 6 months later the new guy was gone. It had been almost exactly a year since our break up and we started talking again. There are still sparks between my ex and I and we are back to being friends (with benefits) and I'm back in his daughter's life. He's paid off a lot of his debt and has been actively working on his anger issues and there's a real difference in his behavior. He stands up to his parents and ex-wife and doesn't let them rule his life.

I'm in the process of buying my first house, alone. One of the things I had to do in therapy since our break up was make a list of qualities I wanted in a guy. It consists of: college educated, debt-free, has a car, has a good job, is someone I enjoy spending time with and can have intellectual conversations with. I want someone who wants to live life with me and do things not always sit in front of a tv. He and I have discussed getting back together but he's not done with school, still owes money, and is renting a car from his parents. I decided those were not things I was wiling to compromise on thus the friends with benefits arrangement.

He had borrowed some money from me while we were together and somehow this came up in conversation the other night. He paid me $500 when we broke up and the rest of it in payments. He had initially told me that was the money he was saving for an engagement ring. He told me the other night he had lied. He had already bought the ring and was waiting for that summer to propose (we broke up in December). He wanted to propose in Disney Land (we had plans to go that summer with his family) in Cinderella's castle; he had already set it up. The $500 he gave me was what he got back when he returned the ring.

I said why didn't you say something? I think I would have stayed and given him more time if I had known it wasn't a dead end relationship. On the other hand, I think us breaking up was the catalyst for his change. How do I react to this information? Part of me feels betrayed and part of me wonders why he told me. What am I supposed to do about it now? Is he trying to get me back or was it just something he felt he needed to get off his chest? What do I do?