It sounds like this anger or rage has really taken a hold on you and you can't really control it sometimes. I would definitely recommend finding someone that you can talk to about this---whether it is a therapist, or a support group...some place where you feel safe enough to talk about these feelings and thoughts. I'm glad you came here and reached out for support. That's what we're here for.

Maybe talking to someone might help you figure out where the anger is coming from. A lot of times we are angry because we have been violated or hurt somehow. I wish you the best of luck.