Thank you Petunia

I'm not suicidal at the moment.
If I am I will ask for help from my GP, counsellor, friends, Samaritans, whoever I can. But I don't feel that they have much they can offer that hasn't already been tried.
I have been totally honest with my GP aobut the specifics of my "plan" to help him to help me avoid the situation.
I'm scared. I have called the Samaritans before but they are there to listen - and what I need right now is some solutions, some ideas, some ways to get throught he system. Continually fighting it is so exhausting.
THanks for reaching out.