I'm so glad to hear you are safe and have taken the necessary steps to get help! It took a lot of strength-well done!
Now make a note of how you felt when you were at your lowest, what steps you took to get better, and how you feel now. The next time you are battling, refer back to these resources.
You do have a will to live; you pulled yourself through. There's also nothing wrong with going to the hospital. Even if just for a few days to take time out and get the meds adjusted.