Thank you Callista+12 and Can't Stop Crying.

I probably made more of it than it even was. I realized I have this feeling at work like I can't be myself, like ever. It's like I put on a happy compliant mask when I walk in the door. I learned to do this when I was working in call centers for 8 years. We had to. You could be fired if you were NOT happy and compliant all the time.

So it shocked me when I let my guard down so spontaneously, but this is retail--I'd say at about half my shifts someone just doesn't show up. So I'm just going to keep showing up and hope, as you say, that the person I said that to has already forgotten it.

I hope things get better for ALL of us soon. I was out of work for almost two years before I got this job in late 2010. The papers keep saying it's getting better but I don't know where it's getting better. It doesn't feel better around here, that's for sure.