I am a survivor of suicide (brother, 12/16/01). You say you love your cousin. If you love her, then please do not change her life forever by killing yourself. I believe that those who suicide do not appreciate the devastating effect this act has on those who love them. I am sure my brother felt that committing suicide would be the easiest solution for him too. And maybe it was. For that moment. Sadly, suicide is a permanent non-solution to any problem. He left parents, siblings, a wife, and many, many friends who are still crying and who always will cry and whose lives will NEVER EVER be the same. Please do not do this to those who love you. Dr. Grohol is a suicide survivor too. Look on this site and read what he has to say on the subject. It is worth reading I assure you. Check out the suicide survivor groups and ask yourself if you want to add to the already too-high number of heartbroken survivors. However bad your life is, taking it will only make the lives of those who loved you a living hell for a long, long, long time.