Dealing with shame.....I learned thru my experience that I had to forgive myself. I think it took a while.
...I am not a religious person. I am spiritual though....One thing that helped me was years ago...I was driving my car on the way home at night. I say this because I remember it so well. I was thinking about my Higher Power. I called him God then. I realized that if God can forgive me how could I not forgive myself!!! That was like my break thru. I still think about it and it had to have happened at least 30 years ago!