I feel like I have absolutely no options left. I took various depression meds for more than 10 years, and none of them helped. I've been off meds for a year now. I've been to half a dozen shrinks and therapists (we've moved a lot); the last therapy ended in disaster and I canceled all remaining sessions. I have nobody to talk to -- my husband is so fed up with me he talks to me with either indifference or contempt. He NEVER talks about what he's feeling, leaving me to only assume, and I can only infer from his attitude that he is sick of me. I'm too afraid to try suicide because the attempt might fail and I'll end up physically worse than before. My sister does not want to hear that anything is wrong. My kids are too young to vent to. My father, who was an a--hole alcoholic during my entire childhood, has never been and never will be a source of any sort of emotional support (indeed, even speaking to him sends me into a depressive tailspin).

I'm in a pretty small city, and there are really no feasible options for a different shrink, plus I refuse to try meds and therapy again. I've been hospitalized twice, and both times were a joke, no help at all.

I work on a freelance basis and right now have no work coming in; most of the stuff is being sent overseas. Work's been harder and harder to get. I feel like I have no value to my husband unless I have some money coming in, and the lack of work has made things a lot worse lately.

At what point does a person just give up?