Hello AvidReader,

I'm really sorry to hear about your long-term depression. I have been depressed and on medication and seeing a therapist for about one year now. Like you, they have tried me on all types of medication. Nothing seems to work. I too have contemplated suicide. I am suffering from a neuromuscular disease which has confined me to wheelchair. There's no way in the world that I could commit suicide as I don't have the ability to reach for a gun, overdose on medication, etc., And no one in their right mind will help me.

I'm sorry that your husband does not understand. I am very fortunate that my wife has stood by me, although at times she gets a little frustrated with me. I'm not sure where this depression comes from. People that do not suffer from depression are very likely not to understand what we go through. Depression to me is like being in a black hole that you can't get out of, or a nightmare that you just can't wake up from.

I try to remember what it felt like not to be depressed. I know when I wasn't depressed I really did enjoy life.

I see that you have not been a member too long now, since February 2011. I think you'll find that people in this community are really very helpful. Each one has different points of view that may help you on your journey. They say that God has a plan for each of us, however, it may sometimes be very difficult to figure out what that plan is.

I wish you all the best on your journey through life. Perhaps we'll chat again.