Let me start by saying I have struggled with depression myself and my kids both have ADHD, so I am fully entrenched in the mental health battle. I don't intend this post to bash my boyfriend, but I need to describe his behaviors so that maybe someone can help me understand more.

First of all, we've been dating for 8 months. He has not met my kids yet. That's another thread altogether, probably in a different forum.
We've had a lot of drama already and I've tried breaking up with him a couple times but we're still together. Several reasons behind that, again - another thread in another forum.

Anyhow, he is 38 yrs old, divorced once with a history of several broken relationships. He has told me that he's been diagnosed bipolar for quite a while, but he doesn't think he is and won't take any meds for it. He thinks he only has ADHD, anxiety and insomnia. He's told me that his dad is “crazy”, has major mental problems, no relationship with him. Not really sure about his mom.

He drinks, a LOT. Mostly wine. He has a medical marijuana card and smokes quite a bit of that as well. He says it's to help with sleep and nausea. Well, the nausea is from all the drinking he does. He's sick and vomiting pretty often. He rarely sleeps at night, often crashes and sleeps all day long. Very moody. Easily agitated. It's weird because he is very intelligent, has a great personality, very friendly, charming and witty. But when he's moody, he is MOODY. Cranky and easily irritated by people. He has no filter on his mouth, either so he often just says what he thinks. We could be having a perfectly nice time together and then suddenly something sets him off and we're having an argument and on the verge of breaking up.

Like I said before, he drinks a lot, mostly wine but often whiskey and vodka too. Smokes pot. Takes other meds like Vicodin whenever they're available. He also likes to do “whip its” often. He also EATS A LOT! If he stays over at my house, he's up all night eating everything in sight. He loves to cook and eat...everything. He has struggled with his weight and is seeing a nutrition doctor where he gets diet pills. He's also taking meds to help with hair growth.

He's very impulsive and when he gets money it burns a hole in his pocket until it's gone. Then he complains about being broke. No job. He lives on disability. Occasionally he'll get into moods where he wants to better his life, try to stop drinking, get some sort of job even temporary. But the mood never lasts and he rarely ever follows through. He can't get along with people enough to hold down a permanent job.

Wow, when I type it all out like this it looks really out of control. Strangely enough, most of the time we have fun together. I'm sure my side of things is fairly dysfunctional as well. I have issues from my divorce, co-dependency, etc. I probably shouldn't even be with this guy. But I do care about him a lot, have even felt like I loved him. But the uncertainty of his situation, his behavior, has me very unsure of what kind of future we could have. I don't even know if I want him meeting my kids yet.

Ugh. Confused and don't know what to do. It feels like a big tangled up knot. So does it sound like he may really be bipolar? Maybe he's in denial...? If he doesn't take meds, will his problems just keep getting worse? Could he escalate into worse behavior?

Thanks in advance for any thoughts.