I don't think people are ever going to be "perfect" for us and I don't know that we can claim changes in their lives to our own credit. Who would want to have anger issues and be in debt and have their lives run by their mothers when they're an adult?

I'm curious in what changes you have made in your life. I was glad to hear you were buying a house of your own but a little disturbed that you are back with him but not "officially", it sounds like you might have some issues yourself about what you want that doesn't relate to someone else. I wouldn't base your happiness on what other people are/do, that will always disappoint you because you have no control there. I think your boyfriend has always been working and changing his life but it's for him and his daughter, not you. What have you been doing for you?

I don't think it matters where the money he borrowed and is paying off came from; I am surprised that you would want a ring that you, in effect, would have bought yourself? But I'm also surprised that, with money problems, you and he were caring about a ring at that time (and this too if he still is paying off debt); sounds like he has a lot more important things to worry about than jewelry! $500 would have bought a course at my college and I'm sure what he lost in returning the ring probably would have bought a couple semesters worth of textbooks. I'm concerned he may be switching having his life run by his parents and ex- to letting you run it. That's not any better! It won't make you happy and can't make him happy; he's tried it and should know better.