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Originally Posted by Perna
I'm curious in what changes you have made in your life. I was glad to hear you were buying a house of your own but a little disturbed that you are back with him but not "officially", it sounds like you might have some issues yourself about what you want that doesn't relate to someone else. I wouldn't base your happiness on what other people are/do, that will always disappoint you because you have no control there. I think your boyfriend has always been working and changing his life but it's for him and his daughter, not you. What have you been doing for you?
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For me I have been going to therapy still working on coping with my bipolar disorder. I've been working on self esteem issues as well as body image issues. I've been working on being happy with myself and not needing someone else to "complete" me. I've been more active in the theatre (which I love). I worked and was cast in the summer fundraiser for the theatre where I, individually, raised almost $20,000. I go every week to "wine/whine Wednesday" with my friends from the theatre. This past summer I helped with a fundraiser for diabetes by "flocking" people's houses with flamingoes in the middle of the night (also with my theatre friends). We raised about $4,000 doing that alone. I did the diabetes walk. I took dance classes, something I've always wanted to do. I also went skiing this year for the first time in several. I finished school and graduated with my bachelors. I've applied to and been accepted by one of the best natural medicine schools in the country and enrolled in classes. I'm buying a house so I can move out of my Dad's house where I live with him and my brother. It's an unstable environment that makes me unhappy and increases my bipolar symptoms so I'm changing that. Those are some of the things I've been doing for me. Does it make more since now? Perhaps my initial post focused more on him than the progress I've made as well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Perna
I don't think it matters where the money he borrowed and is paying off came from; I am surprised that you would want a ring that you, in effect, would have bought yourself? But I'm also surprised that, with money problems, you and he were caring about a ring at that time (and this too if he still is paying off debt); sounds like he has a lot more important things to worry about than jewelry! $500 would have bought a course at my college and I'm sure what he lost in returning the ring probably would have bought a couple semesters worth of textbooks. I'm concerned he may be switching having his life run by his parents and ex- to letting you run it. That's not any better! It won't make you happy and can't make him happy; he's tried it and should know better.
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It was not so much the ring itself and no I would not have been happy about essentially paying for it myself. It was more a showing that he really was serious about being/staying together and that he wanted our relationship to progress. I don't think he's switching to letting me run his life. He does ask my advice but he pretty much does what he wants whether that's my suggestion or not.
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Originally Posted by TheByzantine
Hello, kitty004567. What does your gut tell you?
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My gut says I didn't want to know but the more I thought about it I'd rather know now than find out 5 years from now.
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Originally Posted by lotusflames
do you love him?
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Yes.