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SmackytheFrog · Mar 10, 2011, 09:41 PM

I constantly feel that I am drowning in my own despair. I feel like I am worthless and that I do not have enough redeeming qualities to continue living. I feel like I am a waste of Earth's precious resources and that my life is very vain.

I find I am becoming everything I hate in people. I have become selfish, spoiled and bratty instead of growing to become mature and self-sufficient. I am tired of trying to justify my actions and my mood swings to myself and to others when I know that there is just no reason for it.

I am upset with myself. I recently have not been motivated at all, I missed two months worth of college and I know I wont be able to catch up. I am disappointed in myself and ashamed to tell my family. Has anyone else been through this type of event? I know my college program isn't my ideal career, but I have no idea what my ideal career is. Well I know what I'd love to do, but to begin would cost hundreds of thousands of dollars, but I am already over ten thousand dollars in debt because of school. I rushed into college and now I feel like a failure. It is eating at my core and anyone I try to talk to about it either ignores me or falls asleep.

I don't know so much that I want to die, but I don't think I deserve to live. I feel like I am weak and I hate it, I hate feeling like I don't have the will to simply do the things I and other expect of me. I will never meet the expectations on my shoulders and I am tired of climbing.